Be proud and confident, it's within our power.
A dark time has come to Ireland as a young woman, Ashling Murphy, was tragically killed while out for a run this week.
What happened to this woman in Tullamore, Co. Offfaly has hit home for so many Irish women and people all around the world.
It is truly a sad reality that we do live in a world with threat and worry to step out to go for a jog or walk in our local communities. Women are so used to the threat or that vulnerable feeling that we sometime thank our lucky stars it “wasnt worse”, these smaller situations could spiral out of control very quickly. We all have stories and stories of friends have stories, where does it stop?
I felt compelled to write this message as a woman first and foremost, as a mother and as a martial arts expert lastly. My message is that women should feel safe in their communities, around their families, in their home and out in the greater society. It is not good enough that we should have to lock ourselves away to avoid a potential threat. The threat is not going to disappear, it will always be present, however, what we can do for ourselves to relieve any fear or apprehension is within our power..
We know and understand the steps to take when heading out, tell two people where and how long, bring your phone fully charged, head toward bright lit up places and do not stop or interact with anyone loitering. But, how is it that we are holding ourselves, I see it and observe this everyday, we get distracted by phones, looking down, too busy to look around us.
And so I have put some headliner tips below to help paint a picture of what an attacker looks for and is deterred by and potential interaction.
Significant deterrents to a potential attacker;
Our Body language; the first port of call, are holding ourselves tall and proud? The first thing an attacker is looking for is , your vulnerability, can I over power this person or will the getaway. This is a huge aspect to their decision making process.
Speak loud and clear - How do we speak and interact if approached? - regardless of what someone says or does toward us we must stay calm and keep our distance, position ourselves somewhere that we can potentially run away like close to a gate or main road. Keeping our palms facing the person and having a look of assurance on your face. there is nothing like looking confident to put trouble back in its box.
Decision making time - If and when an attacker makes an attack there are many different things going through our mind, most of the time we panic and maybe submit to them. This is the make or break of the attack, staying calm and allowing yourself to make the right decision is crucial. Breaking free from a grab or pushing a hand away and running.
Be vocal, if in public speak the attacker very loudly and clearly so if there are others passing close by they see and hear the situation without wondering. Saying things like “I dont mean any trouble”, or in the case of imminent threat “Your getting too close, I will call the Gardai ''. if there is contact, shout, scream and do not stop, this can help spook the attacker and notify a passer by.
Move, kick and bite - If you are grabbed and in a tight grip, find a way to hit, kick and maneuver your body weight to make it difficult for them to keep a hold and dont stop, many men do not expect too much of a fight back and this can delay dragging and lifting.
Keep focused on pressure points, there are pressure points or weak areas on the body that you can target in this case. Vulnerable areas to target for example; male genitalia, the eyes, ears, solar plexus and the skin. Biting, kicking, stabbing to eyes, scratching skin are all very painful and regardless of how much pain you may be in, remember GEESS.
I am incredibly lucky to have experience in the area of self defense and I hope you can take some solace in that attackers can be deterred with following some of the above tips. Ultimately they scan you looking for weakness, dont give them any, walk the other way.
No more looking over our shoulders.
No more brushing off bullying.
No more ingest comments and No more lives lost.
#standtallstandproud
This article was written in memory of Aisling Murphy and is for every woman out there who has ever felt the threat or suffered from violence. Our condolences go out to Ashling’s family at this time.